7/28/11
Dearest S,
Happy 6th
Anniversary! It’s truly an amazing feat to be with you for this long. Sometimes
it feels longer than that and sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday
that we met at La Salle and I hit you with my book as you stole my precious
first kiss. Just the same, I think you’re the greatest gift and blessing given
to me in this life. If I can help it, I won’t write such a long letter to you
since this card’s given message is already quite long, though extremely
beautiful and appropriate. I didn’t have
a hard time picking it because it was quite accurate in the depiction of my
feelings for you.
I want to thank you for being
in my life. You’ve been the greatest truest friend to me these past years,
especially these past few weeks wherein I’ve felt really down and crazy. When I
needed you, you were simply there for me and I couldn’t ask for more. When I
feel that I am continuously sinking or lost or falling, I always question
myself why oh why do you keep helping me? Even when I push you away by testing
your patience. Why are you still here? Why do you stay? You tell me it’s
because you love me. What on earth could
have I possibly done to deserve such a man? Such an amazing, loving, caring,
selfless, intelligent, generous, beautiful
man such as you. That is why it killed me when I hurt you in more ways than
one. I am so very sorry for those times.
Thank you for staying. I will continue to endeavor to deserve your love
because I am so committed to you and this relationship. There is nothing in the world I want more
than to spend the rest of my life with you till we’re old and gray.
Lot’s of changes occurred in
the past year. You, with a lot of luck, attained a good job with decent pay and
was able to start doing all those things you couldn’t before- like helping with
your family financially, delving into business, attaining a leadership status
at work, being looked up to and depended upon and many others. As I watched you
grow professionally, I admit I was so very proud because you were moving
forward in spite of your challenges…but here I was, remaining the same old me.
There were times I felt like I’m getting left behind once again and it’s not a
very nice feeling. More than once I’ve
cried in your arms because of my insecurities and I’m sorry for that. Thank you
for being so kind to me and endlessly patient when I become such a crybaby. You wipe my tears away and somehow know
exactly what to say. I love how you always manage to make me laugh. You’re like
the sun to me. No, you’re even brighter than the sun. I could never live without you. I wouldn’t
survive.
I know that there will be
changes coming in the near future. We’ll most probably be parted from each
other and go into a long-distance relationship. My love, if I don’t take the
opportunities coming my way, there may never be for me again you see. I agree
it’s bold. But I know I have a lot on the line and many people are depending on
me that I don’t want to let down. No mater how innocent or unprepared or
frightened I am. It just doesn’t matter.
I have to move forward too. I
don’t want to leave you Stan. But I have to. So I can be with you and make my
life with you in the future. I know you understand that mentally though I feel
your heart screaming at me to stay. You’re being kind by trying to hide that
fact from me. But the truth is that I feel it to even when you don’t say it. I
see it in your eyes. And I know you see it in mine. When the day comes that I
have to leave, I don’t think I have the strength to look back at you. I may end
up just staying. Building my life around
you has made me afraid of change. So I cannot and will not look back. Just wish
me well. With you in my heart, how could I ever be lost? We aren’t truly apart.
So… I want to say on this
special day of ours; because it may be probably the last anniversary we ever
have. I love you. For the first time you stole my kiss. I love you. For the
first time you won my heart. I love you. For all those times, I’ve hurt you in
the past. I love you. For this moment as I look in your eyes, shining with all
the love I can show. I love you. For all those times I will miss. I love you.
For all the loneliness you will feel when I am gone. I love you. For always and
always. I love you. And when we meet again I shall tell you face to face as many
times as you want once again. I love
you. Happy Anniversary.
Lots of love, hugs and
kisses, M
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