Here is the dreamer. One who created and played with the pen and the keys of a world soon unmade. She remembers the wind, water, earth and flame. She loved even shadows but knew naught of hate. With a heart too soft and a strength unseen, she loved the world and she lived a dream.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Firsts

202. Here we are again... another year came and flew by in a blink of an eye. Eight wonderful years together and the second I thought that things couldn't get better, they do. When I am with you I feel like I can conquer the world, unafraid and confident. You always were a great leader and I have always been your follower, whether or not I have been in love with you in the first place. July 28, 2013 will always remain one of the most beautiful memories I will treasure in our relationship. We made a lot of firsts on this day, and I mean a lot. You'd think in eight years our firsts would be limited but this day proved that there will always be firsts for us as a couple. This was probably the very first time you planned such a trip for just us two. And the first time my parents let me go without complaint. The fact that they trusted you touched me very deeply. Also, it was the first time  that they recognized me as a woman... though I have this feeling that they did because I was already at an age wherein they were already settled and married. Regardless, these things made the start of our journey all the more sweeter.

For weeks, our overnight trip at La Vista highlands was all I could think about and I found myself a little out of breath at my day dreaming and the way my thoughts always ended up with us alone in a room atop a mountain. It was all very romantic. And you made it so. I didn't even made a quip when you offered to pay for the entire thing. I thought that the trip was a perfect gift for our anniversary.

You came to my house in the morning and we took a jeepney ride to the bus station. I couldn't wait to show you the video I made as a gift to you. A compilation of our eight years together as couple. You couldn't wait to see it and even started playing it as we rode to the station. They made your eyes tear up with emotion and people started to stare and I scolded you saying, you shouldn't have played it here and waited until we arrived at the resort.We ended up laughing about it many times throughout the day. When we arrived, nothing could spoil the mood, even the resort manager who was being a little too nosy and noisy for her own good. I didn't expect that the moment we entered our room, you'd pounce on me like a tiger, a testament that told me that you had definitely reached the limit of your self- control. Still, I was innocent enough to expect you to wait until nighttime but no, that wasn't happening tonight, I thought, it was really happening right now. In the depths of my heart, I was happy that you were the one that claimed me finally after all these years. It has always been you. Still, it did not stop me from panicking and crying when you held me down on the bed. That pure female response made my heart hammer in my chest and the blood to surge through my brain. The pain that I felt wasn't as fleeting as I read in the books, and I urged you to be gentle. You were actually afraid that I might faint and fall off the bed and pulled me even closer. When it was done, we showered together and I felt dizzy seeing the blood from my maidenhood dripping down my thighs. I think your heart soared knowing that I now truly belonged to you physically as well as in all other aspects yet you were still so careful with me. I was so happy to give you such a gift- my maidenhood. You have made your permanent mark on me. I always joked with you, how frustrated I was to still be a virgin after eight years yet somehow mourned that final jump over the edge that would  turn me into a true woman. Mourned and rejoiced at the same time. And that was your gift to me- my womanhood. It was beautiful, my love, thank you. We were now truly lovers in every sense of the word, for the first time. I could not imagine a better first. After we had rested a little, we took lunch overlooking a beautiful view. The food was divine, especially the spicy diavolo rolls made of chili and cheese, and we could not finish it all. We did a little sightseeing and rested our stomachs before doing the next thing on our firsts list-- ziplining, superman style. It was exhilarating, like nothing else I've ever experienced. It was another first, the most adventurous thing we have ever done. When we were pushed into the air, streaming down that hill attached to that cable, I screamed my lungs out thinking I was going to die (and it was my idea to go ziplining). The people, the trees, the cows, the little brook, the flowers all looked so small from up there and when my initial fear disappeared, I enjoyed the freedom of it. I finally knew what was like to fly, cutting through the air like a bird in flight. And I flew with you, just like in my dreams. Experiencing freedom with you. It was another first. When all the other resort guests went home, only we and a family were left behind. The family stayed in a little house down the hill and remained there for the remainder of the night. End result- we had the entire resort to ourselves. Couldn't there have been a scenario more romantic? We had a sweet candlelit dinner for two and went night swimming at the gorgeous resort pool even though the night was so cold. It even drizzled. I didn't mind because being with you sent my thermostat higher to keep me warm enough. We talked like the best of friends, and we kissed as if nothing could tear us apart. Not that night. You even tried to teach me how to dive. The majority of our energy spent, we went back to our room, our beautiful room that was cool enough from the mountain air. It sent us cuddling into the covers to keep our bodies warm and wanting. We could not get our hands off each other. It was all familiar and new at the same time. We made love a second time and the pain I felt earlier disappeared. I tried to seduce you with sexy underwear but that cold night sent me shivering so much that you made me wear your jogging pants instead. How like a child I was, having you tie up your jogging pants around me and rubbing me to keep me warm. You were so thoughtful. And you made me feel like the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth. That night we slept without a care in the world. I woke up first the next day and found the courage to initiate, to make love to you. And that was another first. Instead of breakfast in bed, we took it on the balcony and it was simply delicious. Then we dressed up for our outdoor photoshoot. We took so many souvenir pictures to commemorate our trip. We didn't care when people stared. They would only see two lovers so completely immersed in each other. The photos we took were so beautiful that  I later made it into another video. When we left the resort to return to our normal lives, I still felt like I was floating on a cloud. Like I had been in a dream and wasn't so keen on being awake. My body betrayed me as it still searched for you. Your eyes, your hands, your lips, and your skin against mine. Never in my life will I leave you, my body knows this. Memories of this day.. and night.. will now always bring a smile to my lips. It was a perfect anniversary trip. I could never thank you enough.

I am in love. And after eight years, I still am. And now you will forever be my first.

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