The Cohabitation Anniversary

206. Is it just me? How the years are flying by without me even blinking. Nine years of you and me. Should I feel anxious and afraid that our happy ever after cannot be? I don't know. The only thing I know is that when I saw you today, on this absolutely special day, I felt truly happy and alive. There were lights in my eyes and the smile on my face was genuine and my heartbeats were faster. I was still in love. 

Happy anniversary. 

This year we planned a cohabitation anniversary: literally living together overnight at your place, pretending to be man and wife-- or what it could be. Or maybe just our honeymoon night, come to think about it.You came to pick me up at home, to the ruse of going to Mambukal with friends, then we went to SM to take our annual couple pictorial with the theme: nurses in love. Our pictures were adorable and the we hanged the framed picture at your place. We bought some alcohol, some maki and sushi and some of our favorite brownies for dessert. We set up the table at your place, a one-bedroom and bathroom, and you opened the present I gave you which was a foldable desk, which you loved. And you got me a pink pulse oximeter that I found very handy at work. Amidst the glow of the electric candle that I brought, and the delicious food, we toasted our love and togetherness. We talked like old friends and made love like pros. It couldn't get more perfect. We made love six times, which was a new record for us and made a lot of firsts. First time we made love while I wore a robe(a red silk dragon robe), which reminded you of a geisha. And first time that I woke you up at 4am and just basically tackled you again on the bed. I think I ended up surprising you more than I surprised myself at my boldness. I think you created a monster. And you enjoyed every minute of it. Did you know I almost cried when you told me that you did not ever regret choosing me? There I was, trying to maintain my pace and you were trying to make me cry. Sleeping together with you continues to be one of the best and most relaxing times of my life as well. The next day, we went to Balaring(a seaside community), and ate at Edgewater restaurant were we had the best ever gambas and squid. Then we went to Mambukal(so that our consciences were clear, and to have more photos). While we were there it rained pretty hard, just like our anniversary 5 years ago. Wasn't that memory so funny? We went to the butterfly sanctuary drenched in rainwater, changed and had hot chocolate while it rained. We took a bunch of pictures with the wet butterflies and bought a gigantic langka(jackfruit) for my family to enjoy. By the end of the day, we were pretty exhausted. After depositing my things at my house, we went out to have dinner at Shawarma Habibi and Qualitea  at Lacson St., another new restaurant at Lacson St., and discovered the best shawarma in town. All in all, a very very perfect successful two-day one-night cohabitation anniversary. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I love you. My heart (and my stomach) was so full. Can't wait for next year.  

Another Proposal

205. I've been with you for 8 years and it is no surprise that our lovey- dovey ways have sprouted several propositions from you that I have always accepted. Thrice occurred during our college days, both in chapels with one of them on your knees and the other one at an inconvenient time before my birthday on a jeep, riding through a market where you gave me our promise ring. You were very serious about having a future with me and it was apparent to me that you weren't going to give the chance to any other man, securing your place in my life. Still, I knew there was fear in you every time you said those words to me. Fear of the unknown, fear of being a provider, fear of being a father, insecurity and the ultimate fear of rejection. However this was natural but I didn't want your hesitancy to plague our relationship. What was the point of your proposals if you cannot follow through on those promises? I gave you an ultimatum that you had to marry me by age 29, with or without the security of material things, else I find another man to do it, I was serious. All this waiting was driving me crazy and I didn't want to have a child at the high risk age of 30 and furthermore, I didn't want money to be one of your reasons for holding back on me. Three more years. And that would mean we've been together for 11 years. 11 years is long enough if you ask me. You had to, if you loved me enough and had enough faith in us. You promised me you would ask for my hand from my parents. I know I pressured you but sometimes a little push is needed to get to where you want. Three days ago, as we were lying in bed together, you proposed to me again. "Marry me," you said, "Two scenarios. We go to Canada next year, marry there legally, have a church wedding here in the Philippines. Or second, we marry next year, since we both have stable jobs here, then reapply to Canada under our new status." I giggled at the thought. We're you actually serious this time around? You had to marry me was very different from you will marry me. I told you no matter what that I will marry you no matter how many times you ask me. No matter the circumstances. My heart skipped a beat. I loved you and you loved me. Maybe in the coming year things will be actually different. I look forward to your next proposal. Maybe you'll just surprise me. 

A New Chapter

204. I can't believe how our lives have continued to evolve throughout the years. From our relationships' stormy infancy we have actually crossed the threshold into steady, serious, full- blown adulthood; facing challenges we could only dream about ten years ago. Immigrating? Looking for well-paid jobs? Tying the knot? Children? Heck, just thinking about those responsibilities sometimes make me want to puke. I feel that I am absolutely not ready for this new chapter in our reality of life. However, no matter how much I just want to close my eyes, shut out the world and focus inwardly, life calls and shouts, "get out of your shell and deal with it! You've been an adult for quite some time." I admit that I've never been happier in my relationship with you. Ever since you finally decided to take that first leap of faith to that immigration consultancy at Iloilo, my faith in our evolving love story was absolutely restored. I was proud of you. I am proud of you for being courageous enough to leave the familiar and take risks into the unknown. With me. You've been doing great at your current job, securing a nice permanent position in an area that you have total dominion over; it's nuances, it's stresses, it's ability to test your patience and love for your calling, all fit into your life like a glove. Yet you're willing to forego that, all for me and family, and the hope that the future could be even better than we could have ever imagined if we just stayed where we are. Perhaps that talk I gave you a few months ago struck a  cord in your heart. I hope I didn't scare you too much with my ultimatum, that if by the time we've reached age 29 and still we haven't settled down, I would leave your side. Although it was said with certainty, I did not think you would let me leave you anyway, had I even the strength to leave, which I don't. It was a wake up call, was it not? For us. To move. To evolve. To live. Nothing ever remains the same even if we willed it to be so. Even us. I really think that we are ready for greater things and greater challenges. Gathering our papers here and there, taking exams, reviewing, putting out large sums of money are all for the benefit of a bigger and better future for the both of us and our families and just the tip of the iceberg for the new and improved chapter of our life. And you know what the best part is? We're never alone. We have each other no matter what happens. We can do this hand in hand.