Underneath the Clothes

134. If someone asked me what was the part of my body I was most insecure about, I wouldn't answer him. At first glance you'd think that there was nothing wrong with me. Everything normal, seemingly the right size or was it? You've seen practically every inch of me, yet you still don't regard my physical flaws as the flaws I consider them to be. Two things. Scars and moles. I have a scar near my elbow that was one of the topics of our first ever conversation. I have scars on my knees from my playful childhood days and I have tiny round scars from my chicken pox on random body areas. And the moles. I have lots of them all over, with the biggest on my neck that I plan to have cauterized or excised when I finally had enough money. You don't notice any of them to my surprise. To you, I was beautiful just as I was. It was flattering and heart-warming to be accepted readily. However, you had your own problem areas to deal with. Particularly on the left- chest area, but I won't mention anything further. I believed that it's nothing a few months in the gym, disciplined diet and a wardrobe-tweaking cannot fix. Funny, if you hadn't pointed those flaws out, I wouldn't have noticed them either. People in love are generally accepting of everything about their partner and that is where the phrase 'love is blind' was coined from. It's a great notion from this point of view but if one looked at it from an  emotional perspective, it is also where tolerance of abuse stems from. I believe true love will not readily accept all physical deformities if it can be improved. Like my mole. You agreed that it should go because it may be a cancer risk. And I encouraged you to go to the gym and increase your physical activity in order to reach your optimum level of health. After all, if I want us to grow old together, we should be at the peak physical condition starting at this moment. I don't want anything to come in the way of my being the best partner you can possibly have. Acceptance is good but improvement is most definitely better. But whether or not you change on the outside or inside, I'll still love you no matter what. Although, I'm sure that a well-chiselled body will do wonders for one's ego and love life as well.