87. I've written once before about our first break up that lasted for only four hours because you were so quick to appear at my doorstep to apologize. Everything we built was indeed saved from permanent devastation but honestly it wasn't the only break up we had. Like other relationships though, we still had other skirmishes, including drama-induced break-ups. These were relatively of short duration. Most of our friends don't even believe that we'd ever had a break up, citing that high emotions just simply caused tiny time- outs in our relationship. I don't know if they're right. Perhaps they are right simply because the longest break-up we've had was only around a day. Then one or both parties would apologize since we couldn't stand the tension and being apart. It just seemed unnatural since you're in my thoughts most of the day. It is quite painful to think of breaking up with you for real. To not see your smile and share your life, is indeed quite demoralizing because like it or not you've played such a large part in my own life. I'd like to think of you as part of my eventual future no matter how exciting and scary I think it is. Call me a coward but I'm both afraid of a life with you and a life without you. I guess there's nothing else to do but take each day at a time and take things as they come. We'll figure it out somehow.
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