The Realization

182. Funny. I just realized an amusing fact about myself. I am a guy magnet. Not an ordinary guy magnet. An already-taken-guy-magnet. I attract guys who are already in relationships. Does that make me the other woman on all counts? Perhaps. Does it make me evil? I really don't know. Does it make me potentially attracting disastrous relationships? Yes and no. Just great. Even with you. I started out as the other woman. Yes, you didn't love your girlfriend then but the fact was that you were still in a relationship. Currently, there are even two guys who are in relationships currently flirting with me though they fully know that I'm perfectly happy with you. And there's another who broke up with his girlfriend because the more he got to know me, the more unhappy he got with his girlfriend. No, this one didn't fall for me much, it just made him so picky when it came to women. He admired the qualities I possessed too much that I didn't like the way he put me on a pedestal because I knew I wasn't perfect. I doubt that this one will ever be satisfied if he came across a perfectly good woman if he himself doesn't reform his own character flaws. And then there was he who should not be named. Well, that was just such a horrid affair that I refuse to speak about it at this time because it just upsets the both of us because this event only proved how gullible, careless and stupid I am at times. Of all these guys, I do think that only you are the only successful one I've had a successful relationship with which says a lot. One is that you were responsible and decent enough to break it up with your girlfriend first before you pursued me actively. And two is that you have such a secure view of our relationship that though others may come in the way at times, we will survive it no matter what. And three is that though you hate it that I'm so nice and friendly that I attract this much unneeded attention from the opposite sex,  you have never once reacted physically violent to any of them in the least. Jealous as though you may be, you handled all these quite maturely. I love that about you. And lastly, you think of the long-term, even more than myself which shows how invested you are in our relationship. I've realized that I should handle awkward situations with other men as careful and responsible as possible, being assertive though friendly but not giving much of myself away because it could be taken differently. There is wisdom to be had from learning the art of saying "no". In doing so, I am not only protecting our relationship but also myself. I may have not realized it readily at first, but I could have saved myself a lot of heartache by stepping away when the warning signals in my brain sounded. As they say, guard your heart for it is the director of your being. I have already given my heart away to you, therefore I cannot give away what is not mine to give anymore. It wouldn't be right. And it wouldn't be true. It is simple logic.