Play Pretend

176. I loved playing pretend as a child. I loved make believe cooking, living in cardboard boxes, thinking I was a unicorn and playing with dolls. I had a very active imagination and couldn't wait for playtime to begin each and every day. As I grew up, I still have that streak of the creative mind within me, now channeled into other meaningful things like relationships and life. First day of school in college I met my prince without even batting an eyelash. I danced in beautiful balls wearing beautiful gowns. I began to sincerely believe that all my wishes in my life could come true. That I would be happy with you and live happily ever after. Pretend that we were married and all we lacked was our wedding vows. Pretend to have children that would have my creativity and your athleticism and your eyes. Pretend to see the world from a bird's eye view of everything and anything and anywhere. Pretend that everything was alright though it was not. Pretend that I could be a perfect woman for you, the only woman who could complete the missing puzzle inside your heart. Pretend that I could be the perfect daughter who excels in her studies and in music. Pretend to be a perfect sister who always made her siblings felt appreciated or a granddaughter who had the patience of a zealot. Yes, I still definitely still had that imaginative streak in me. I played pretend for most of my life. I learned to speak but not speak my mind. I learned to hold back tears and bite my tongue and suffer in silence. I learned that I had to look the part of perfection though was far from it in reality. I think that's what draw you to me. Don't pretend that it's not true. I may have a heart like marshmallows but I'm not entirely blind. I love sunlight, butterflies and rainbows, but am equally comfortable in darkness as well. I think that's what draw me to you. I think that I actually started to live the day I met you; live not in pretense but in actual life. I didn't need to be anyone with you because you accepted me for who I was and loved every imperfection I had. I didn't need to pretend. I have never been so honest in all my life. You brought out the best and the worst in me and it was like a breath of fresh air. Here I stand barenaked, yet I am unafraid of getting hurt by you.  You've never pressured me into anything, never asking anything in return but my love. Do you know how that makes me feel? That I want to love you even more. Thank you for not letting me pretend anymore. I don't need to pretend because I am who I am. And that is enough.