The Warning

178. Today, after a month of inactivity, I've again placed my hands tentatively on my keyboard. Feeling renewed, inspired and invigorated after my two-week Manila adventure, I feel that it is now time to catch up on my blog. I've decided on the topic for today's entry: my father's reaction on my having a boyfriend. My family, conservative as it is, had mixed reactions on my having a boyfriend. My mother and grandparents accepted it as part of growing up though they also cautioned me the risks of being in a relationship this early on in my college life. They didn't have the heart to oppose because they saw how happy I was with you. They even guessed correctly that you were my boyfriend though I didn't declare it outright since I frequently brought you to our house. Besides, my brother was already on his second girlfriend and he was still in high school. You were handsome, charming and had good manners. You were perfect. So as long as I had no complaint with you, they wouldn't have anything to complain about either. I just assumed that my father felt the same way about you. Then came the shocking news that two of my cousins, one in Manila and one in Tacloban, were pregnant and unmarried. Though their poor decision-making skills had absolutely nothing to do with me and my brother, my father called us both in the living room and proceeded to lecture and warn us about our partners and about relationships and premarital sex. Me, especially since I was a girl therefore the weaker of the two sexes. I remember him being so mad that time and calling me awful names just because I had a boyfriend. He even called me a sl*t and told me to take my pills. My mother, bless her heart, rushed to defend me from him. He shouldn't have acted that way when we weren't doing anything wrong. He even threatened to disown me if ever I became pregnant. Me and my brother couldn't speak out, when we tried to we were just shot down because, according to our father, the only time we could talk back to him was when we weren't living under his roof anymore. It saddens me greatly that my father doesn't trust me and handle us democratically and I don't think I can forgive and forget those awful things he said. There's still a lot of hurt coming from this particular memory. Perhaps in time, he would recognize just what a strong person I've become and say sorry. I just don't know. Our father's side of the family are a hot-blooded lot, with a passionate undercurrent, so I presume he was just worried about me and may have said things he didn't mean. With regards to you, I think he is beginning to regard you with respect because we've been together for so long and you haven't gotten me pregnant in all that time. Plus, you already have a stable job now so it means more security for us as a couple. I doubt he is thinking that having a son-in-law like you is an entirely bad thing. You've proven yourself very responsible so far and I haven't once complained to him about you anyway. He must be pleased that his angry lashings in the past were taken into account no matter how hurtful it was to hear. Well, a father is a father.