Here is the dreamer. One who created and played with the pen and the keys of a world soon unmade. She remembers the wind, water, earth and flame. She loved even shadows but knew naught of hate. With a heart too soft and a strength unseen, she loved the world and she lived a dream.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Imagine A Different Life

181. From how much you've read about yourself in my blog, it's for certain that I think that your ego has bloated enough for me to tell you that it's time to get your head out of the clouds and into my arms. I've often wondered what my life would be like without you in my life. Of course, I imagined myself to be less confident than I am though I'm not certain I will be entirely unhappy. God has made me into a happy person, for the most part anyway. And I think I'm flexible enough to handle any trials that may come my way even without a man by my side. If you had taken up a different course, like Engineering, I think we would never have become a couple. If somehow circumstances were altered, we would never have been. What if you were happy with your previous girlfriend what then? What if somehow fate had this crazy idea to pair me up with a scumbag instead of you? What if I became an awful person in the end, I doubt my instability would have attracted you if ever we would meet. I would just be one of those poor "kanugon-sa-iya-gwapa-tani" categorized girls. If things were somehow just a tad different. Like if I had succumbed to the charms of another man with way more devious skills than yours, I doubt I would still retain my sexual innocence and playful wit. Or perhaps if you had given all of yourself to one of your exes, going all the way, I wonder if my jealousy would even be contained. You'd tire of me soon enough if I had that kind of attitude and I would be just a number. Number seven. You'd forget my name the way you did your number two, three, and six.  I rue the day that that should ever happen because if it ever did then I think it would mean the absolute end for us. Yet none of these things ever happened. We are now living in this concrete reality were we have miraculously been together for six years in spite of our obvious faults and unique temper-filled personalities. I think we've learned to adapt to one another. And that is the secret of this version of life with you. Compromise and communication. We are lovers here and not strangers. We are friends, not enemies. We are living, not dead. Although I am curious as to what life would be if things had gone differently, given a chance to change my life, I would still not have changed a single part of it. It's important for a person to realize how blessed he or she is in the life given to him/her because everything is given for a purpose. I am grateful for all the good and bad things given to me because somehow it has made me and you stronger and brave enough to form a future all our own. With faith and love, I believe we can do it and truly walk upon the path that was meant for us and not dwell on a broken road that leads to nowhere.    

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