Pageants

46. When I see pageants on television, I would normally gawk at all those men and women and their seemingly perfect bodies. I did not envy them, I just admired their outstanding physical features and used them as motivators to psyche me to be physically fit. I secretly wanted to be in a pageant however, it just wasn't in my schedule to do. If one asked me to sacrifice my academics, then my answer would be an absolute no. It was a little strange when I found out that you were in a pageant yourself when you were in highschool. You had so many activities yet you even had the time to participate in one. You won that pageant. While you were telling me, I noticed a mixture of pride, shyness and even shame rolled into one coming from you. When I asked you about it, you told me it was because you recalled all those 'agi' or gay men, prepping you for your time on stage, doing your hair, placing oil over your body, touching you in places I need not mention and openly showed  their enjoyment while doing so. They made you look good, but you hated it. You showed me the video, which is now missing, of that pageant and I was shocked at how lean you were and even more boyish than you were now. I must say that seeing your body during the swimsuit competition was mouthwatering with that confident stride. I thought your answer during the question and answer portion was brilliant. No wonder you won, for the male category. It was even published in a newspaper, was it not? I was proud of you, yet I sighed at the thought that I would never get to enter such events. The one time that someone prodded me to join, I just smiled and politely refused because I knew the elimination round would fall on an exam day and since there was a swimsuit category, my father would absolutely kill me if I joined. Nevertheless, I think pageants are frivolous affairs. There are better things to do with one's time than parading around. Anyhow, now that I have you, your eyes are the only pair I want watching me.  

Let's Face It

45. Your fascination for my skin habits led you to some awareness of the importance of skin care. When I mentioned in an offhand conversation that I recently had a facial treatment, it really triggered your curiosity. What is that? How does it work? Does it hurt? Is it really good for the skin? Will it be effective for  guy like me? I laughed and explained to you all about it. I recommended a salon as well. You were really pumped up and told me that you were willing to try it. I warned you that your face will be red and puffy for a day or two but you didn't mind because you wanted to experience it yourself. Besides, some guys do have facials. Right? That weekend we went to that salon to have your facial. A warm wet towel was placed on your face, to open your pores and to make you comfortable. Then the procedure began. I was holding your hand because you felt some stinging sensations as all the whiteheads, blackheads and acne were being removed by the skin specialist. A number of products were being put on your face before and after that sore process. I remember some of them as cream, a peel-off mask and honey. It was great. Though you felt so sore and looked as red  as a tomato initially, after a few days, you were practically flaunting your perfect clear skin. I swear it made you even more mestizo. You enjoyed it and I was glad. Now we had more activities we could share with one another. I'm so thankful for your open mind. 

An Ordinary Day

44. Not all days are filled with fun and the excitement of a whirlwind romance. There are days which are made up of simple, ordinary experiences, some dull and habitual, that are indeed a welcome break from all the heart-thumping, adrenaline- stimulating, drama-filled events that fill our lives with color and interest. God forbid that we have too much emotional trauma that we exhibit signs of early death in our youth. During our college days, there were frankly so many ordinary days that they were too many to count. I'd wake up every morning, excited for the day ahead, filled with regular classes and you. Waking up became so much easier now that I had something to look forward to. I'd take a shower, eat and get dressed and commute to school. Cheerfully, I'd walk the hallowed halls of our university and greet friends good morning. The moment I entered my classroom, I'd automatically search for you. It was either I'd get excited if you were there or disappointed if you hadn't arrived yet. You were habitually late because you lived so far away.  I'd catch up with my other friends awhile or reviewed my notes. Classes would start on a high note. Lecture, discussion and some time in the laboratory. Talented and dedicated educators were much appreciated for making classes interesting. Boring teachers, however, who lacked creativity and enthusiasm were so monotonous that some of our classmates dozed off or pretended to listen. There would be some tests and we'd do well on them as expected from the star section. Then we had much coveted break hours. Some lasted for thirty minutes while some lasted for two hours. These were spent eating, reading, joking around, making last-minute homework or projects, sleeping some more or wishing that the next teacher was absent so we could have a free day. Our classmates lived for those hours because it seemed like we were like one big family. I personally relished simply the time I spent with you, they were a comfort to say the least. There were no quarrels, no arguments and definitely no barriers. After a day like this one, filled with much learning and bonding, we'd usually eat, play computer or you'd simply take me home. There would be a goodbye kiss. At night we'd text each other while we went on with our separate lives with our families. I'd know a little more about you each day. Before I'd close my eyes, I would give a prayer of thanks. Each ordinary day was like a pulse with a steady rhythm. It's important for me to share this because though at times, I am undeniably the kind of person who is drawn to drama, I want you to know that the happiness I feel on ordinary days is just as important to me as those on extraordinarily exciting,  emotionally- driven, milestone days. And I love you just the same. I imagine in the future, if ever we do build our lives together as partners, there will be many of those ordinary days. I do believe that when we fill those ordinary days with love, kindness and laughter, that in the end we'd have a strong foundation and a much stronger future together. It all just adds up. That's the beauty of ordinary days.

Scent of You

 43. People can't help but turn their heads toward a person with a very alluring perfume.  This topic calls to mind one of my beloved teachers in high school. Though it was a well known fact that he was gay, girls went gaga when he passed in the hallway; their noses, including mine, literally followed the trail of scent he was leaving behind. I know that the sense of smell is very powerful, it can evoke so many memories including those that we have long forgotten. I guess, that was what I was thinking when I asked you for a little bit of your perfume- Coolwater on my handkerchief to be stored inside my closet in a plastic bag. I wanted to remember you and your delectable smell that exuded a lot of masculine confidence and sex appeal.  It was a little expensive so you only wore it on dates and other special occasions. I can't count the times wherein I felt my knees go weak and shaky when you were beside me and purposefully shook your shirt and let your perfume as well as your unique bodily scent engulf me, knowing full well how I would react. That was probably the main trigger for my bordering-on-the-obsessive-hanky-saving instinct. Nevertheless, another one of your sneaky methods worked and you're in my thoughts every single time I smell that scent. Even worn by other men, I would immediately look for you like a blood hound even up to now. 

Relaxing Day

 42. Studying is stressful that was why we decided to have a little break over the weekend. We decided to do something a little different than the usual lunch-movie date. You gave the reins of the plan to me, and boy did you regret it. Being the girl that I am I organized girlish activities that we could do at my house. Among our itineraries included bellydancing, facials, massage and little canape-making. I was glad you just went along with it and didn't get so upset. I was amazed how you exercised with me using my bellydancing videos and had such a blast, sort of. It takes a very secure man to make all those hip rotations and hip lifts! After a quick shower, I made a home-made facial using oatmeal, egg whites and honey and we watched a movie while the mixture dried off on our faces. Afterward, we cleansed our faces and I let you try on some of the products that I use- toner and cream. It was no wonder, you told me, that my skin looked so good, my regimen was very thorough. Thank goodness we were the only ones in the house. You'd never have agreed if other people were around!We then fed each other canapes made of liver spread, mayonnaise, parsley and biscuits and some iced tea. I promised to give you a massage, and I used a special muscle cream that had a lot of menthol as I worked on your back. After an hour, you had fallen asleep, giving me the chance to clean up and just enjoy the sight of the contented look on your well-defined features. It was a great relaxing date at home. Thank you for spending time with me.

The Weak Spot

41. I think everyone has a special spot on their bodies. I have a sensitive area on my neck, that when touched, sends a delicious chill up and down my spine and goosebumps to appear on my arms. When we were teasing one another when we were just friends, I liked to tickle you immensely. You were almost immune to all my attempts at tickling you all except for one spot that makes you have uncontrollable fits of laughter. The back of your neck. Whereas I am ticklish almost everywhere so obviously I usually lose at this ,kind of battle. We knew each others weak spots and I found so much pleasure in teasing you there that it was most certainly outright flirting between singles. It didn't help that when you looked at me, you kept holding my gaze for several thoughtful seconds which in turn caused me to flush uncontrollably. When we were already a couple, I used your weak spot to literally make you weak from desire. I'd kiss you there or I'd blow on that spot and you'd end up shivering and beg me to stop. I still liked teasing you and your self- control. And it was downright fun and a bit dangerous for a woman to be teasing a man in that manner. And it's the same the other way around, isn't it? Yet you do it to me too and then go away, laughing after adding wood to the burning fire that we both are trying to control. Really, it's a dangerous game we're playing when we both know each others' physical weak spot. It's becomes even more dangerous as our relationship becomes longer and deeper. I wonder when we'll finally truly lose control. I do hope it happens on our wedding night.

Cheering You On

40. You love sports and were actively involved in numerous events during high school. You used to be a center at your highschool basketball team, the captain of the volleyball team and played a number of other sports- swimming, table tennis, track and field, you name it. I had absolutely no idea how you balanced those extra curricular activities along with your academics since you were also in the honor roll. It was impressive and I was thoroughly impressed. In all honesty, I would have loved to be cheering you on in one of your events however, the moment you stepped foot into college you decided to take a break from all the extra activities you've been doing. No matter how proud I was of your past achievements-- I wouldn't get to play your little cheerleader. It was a shame really because I never got to see you in your element and your glory days. After a year of not doing anything, you decided to participate in our college sportsfest. In three events: shot put, javelin throwing and tug-of- war. I shouted and cheered my heart out for you by the sidelines because I knew you'd need the support. No, there were no pom-poms involved though I seriously considered making you a placard. You told me it didn't matter and that you only needed my presence to feel so energized in the game. Your team won first place for the tug-of - war and you won a respectable 3rd place for the other games. Pretty good, considering how long you haven't played. I was proud of you and I let the world know it. It didn't matter if I didn't win, you said to me once, I've already won you. I laughed, was I a trophy? No, I'm just your little chearleader.  

A Day at the Beach

39. It was such a beautiful sunny Saturday that my family decided to go to the beach. It was down south of the island and the resort's name was Soleo. We arrived there around lunchtime and immediately ate lunch which composed of rice, porkchops and a great number of delicious seafood- oysters, grilled fish and scallops. The spread was amazing and we ate to our heart's content. After a desert of ice cream, most of my family took a dip in the sea. And later, my sister and I collected seashells and played in the sand while others took a nap or continued to swim. All that while, your family was also preparing to go to that same beach later in the day. When you texted me this I was so excited. Was it fate that our two families were going to meet face to face? I was musing this as  I was fiddling with the sand. However, I felt disappointed when my father called out that we were leaving in an hour. Not much time for you to get here, unfortunately. Then I had a fantastic idea! Why not leave you a romantic note on the beach? Something that told you I had been here. I found myself a stick and wrote in the sand-- I love you forever. They were big and deep letters so they wouldn't wash out when the tide went up later on. We left the beach, happy though tired, with my father driving the car. You texted me your location on the highway and that you were riding on a blue jeepney and I told you about our car and where it was. I opened the side window and around ten seconds I spotted your car coming from the other side of the road and became so excited. That was the moment you poked your head out of your vehicle and extended your hand towards mine. I heard you call out my name and I laughed in delight. My family were probably wondering what I was up to as I too poked my head out of the car window and extended my hand and shouted your name.  Though our hands didn't touch, the moment I saw your face I felt so much joy, my heart was beating right out of my chest. Then our two cars passed one another. My parents curiously asked me what was that all about and I explained excitedly. They may have been thinking that I was exhibiting signs of loco de amor but I didn't care. It was quite a day.  Later on, you told me your found my message and told me that you appreciated the gesture and that you loved me too. Now I was certain that when you enjoyed the rest of the day with your family, you'll have me on your mind as well. I swear some of our moments are so good they should be on a telenovela.

When Inspiration Strikes

38. I have many hobbies and among them is drawing. I draw only on occasion or when sudden inspiration strikes. In this case, the inspiration was you. You fell asleep at one of our long boring lectures and though I knew that I should have woken you however since I knew you were so tired and looked so peaceful, I left you alone. Our teacher didn't even notice you anyhow. It's true what they say, I thought, as I watched you, people did look very childlike when in the throes of sleep. I took out my pencil and began drawing you on my notebook. Your face was to me, and it was nested comfortably in the crook of your arm. I wanted to remember each and every line, every shadow, every strand of hair that moment. This was only the first. As the days wore on, I drew you in several poses, some of them without you knowing. One was how your back looked when you were sitting in front of me and another was when you were staring directly at me. My notebook was filled with you, just like my heart. I was just thankful that I could multitask. Juggling you, homework and classes, I definitely had my hands full especially since I hated failing in anything. Left brain, right brain and heart is working to its' fullest capacity. It also helps that some research actually encourages doodling in classes to help with memory retention. I guess that the image of you sleeping in class is now forever encased in the deepest recesses of my memories. I believe that inspiration definitely preserves these precious memories, what else would I be doing writing this blog every single day? 

Catch Your Smile

37. I remember after a few months of being together, that very first Christmas party we attended together as a couple. It was with our classmates at a Chinese restaurant and after eating and having a few games we had a secret-santa- type of gift-giving. A friend gifted you a big bottle of alcohol and you all laughed about it. There was only one thing on my mind though. You. Your smile in particular. As you already know, unlike me who usually has easy smiles even for mere strangers, it takes more effort for you to make the corners of your lips turn up even in an ironic way. I wanted to take a picture of your happy smiling face as a remembrance for Christmas break but somehow, somewhere within that party, your mood turned sour and I think it was because of that green-headed monster again. I did everything I could to change that mood, paying you more attention so much that people called us "so sweet that ants were all over us". To top it all off, I gave you my surprise present which was a black t-shirt with a cool dragon in front that made you so very happy. My effort definitely paid off because suddenly there it was. The smile. Click! I caught it at last. Thank goodness. We also had our first picture taking as a couple here and I was absolutely ecstatic as I had those photos developed and placed them in an album. Every now and then, I like to take out that album and just reminisce about our moments together, including that day that I first triumphantly caught your smile with my trusty camera. 

Culinary Beginnings

36. One time, morning classes were cancelled because the teacher wasn't feeling well. We took the opportunity to spend more time together at my house. We watched some television, and I made some snacks for us. You found my tuna melt so delicious that you ate so much. I remember this because you practically got addicted to it and would ask for it every time you came to my house. I was so happy. I may not be so experienced at cooking but I pride myself on my sandwiches and my own version of the adobo. And you shower me with praises that make me blush. You once told me that my food was so delicious because it was prepared with lots of love and joy. Just watching you eating my food and enjoying yourself made me feel so warm inside. And that's when I became interested in learning how to cook. I may never be a professional chef in my lifetime, but I want to somehow be like my grandmother and your mother, who are experts at cooking exceptional dishes. Food that radiates love not only fills your heart but also your stomach! Besides, if I'm going to have a family one day, I'd want them to eat well and be properly nourished too.

The Intertwine

35. Do you remember that awkward moment in our coliseum when we were just friends? Actually not only that, there were actually many awkward moments that we've undergone before we were officially a couple. But I remember this one because it was more awkward than usual. There was a program and cheering event we were all required to attend. You found us a spot in the bleachers and while you were leading me up, our arms got intertwined. I don't know how that happened, I don't think you did it intentionally. I don't even remember placing my arms in that compromising intimate position. Before we knew it we were sitting close to one another and when I realized how we actually looked, instead of getting my arms untangled with yours immediately, I just looked at your arms, amazed at how it fit so well with mine. How your hands were on top mine and almost exactly like my own except bigger and manlier. And how warm it felt. Such a right fit. Such electricity. I wondered if you noticed. Our eyes met, I blinked and pulled my arms away hastily and said 'oh, oops.' and apologized sheepishly. You grinned and said, 'careful there, people might get the wrong idea.' I caught the spark in your eye and blushed. I thought you were having a couple of ideas yourself and I admonished my stupidity. We tried to concentrate on the program but still there were times wherein I swear I caught you stealing sidelong glances at me. While the crowd was shouting and cheering all around,  all I could think of was you and our accidental interlock that I secretly liked. My skin was still burning from were our skin made contact.  I wondered if you felt it too.

Watching From Afar

34. Isn't it an unspoken rule upon breaking up, never to act intimately with one's ex ever again? More so especially when you have a new girlfriend. Forget it, it's impossible to remain friends with one's ex with all the pain and heartache that you can remember. Then again, that wasn't the case with you and her. Yes, her. That one. The one that always causes me to raise an eyebrow, cause my body to stiffen and my facial expressions to become plastic somehow with forced friendliness. I can almost feel that feline instinct like I'm about to pounce on her quivering underneath my skin. That was exactly how I felt when she approached me one day in front of the coliseum. Surprised at her presence, I said hello. She looked distressed and looked like she was about to cry. She asked me where you were and I pointed her over to you across the lobby. She immediately run over to you and hugged you in front of me, bursting into tears. I watched you both from across the room uncomfortably. I didn't like the way she was clutching you, nor the way you were holding her and whispering soothing words to her. I actually felt some shock. Our eyes met, and I heard you say 'were just going to talk somewhere, I'll be back soon'. Great, I thought, she stole my boyfriend away right before my very eyes using her feminine wiles. She had no delicacy whatsoever. I really had no idea what came over me when I decided to follow you. I even brought one of my close friends along with my spying. Hiding behind a large tree, I watched you both intently as you were talking on a bench near the chapel. I felt the rage building up. My close friend, half-laughing at the whole situation, told me I was crazy and that we were both acting like a pair of stalkers. Embarrassed, I told her she could leave and she did and told me good luck as I continued to spy on you. No doubt I too had that possessive streak in me as well, and I didn't like my personal space, you, being trespassed by other women, especially by one of your exes. After that whole fiasco, and that other girl left, the first thing you asked me was 'Were you watching us while we were talking? I practically felt your stare burning at the back of my head.'  Sulking, I said yes and you proceeded to tell me that nothing happened and that she only wanted some advice since she recently broke up with her boyfriend, which incidentally was your best friend as well. I didn't understand why she had to come to you. Why of all people she could have sought help from, why you? You told me, in spite of your past relationship together, you were still good friends. Is that even possible?! And you even broke up horribly. However, I did feel better after you had explained yourself and laughed the whole thing off especially the spying part of it. In fact, you couldn't stop laughing your head off at me, you enjoyed it immensely to my dismay. I realized that this must be how you must have felt when I talk to my male friends and understood you a little better. I think I just got a dose of my own medicine.

Slow Dance

33. A very close friend of mine had her debut. She was an only child and since she was quite well-off, her family had it held at a hotel. Her debut was gorgeous, complete with an ice queen  theme, her cake was an ice castle and there was even a gigantic backdrop of icy mountain ranges, and a smoke machine. I was one of the 18 candles as well as part of the cotillion which we practiced two weeks for. It was the first time I had participated in a cotillion which was a group waltz. It turned out that we were lacking one male dancer and my friend suggested I invite you to her debut and be part of the cotillion. You thankfully agreed. The dance instructor, after observing us a bit, separated us and made us partner with other people, to my absolute disappointment. You promised to dance with me at the debut to make up for it. It was interesting to be partnered with my friend's cousin, who, though good-looking, reminded me of a bouncer at a bar. He was a decent dancer who never stepped on my toes and had a very strong masculine perfume that kept tickling my nose. I kept checking up on you though, since you were partnered with my friend's tall, lean and tanned cousin. You were doing just fine. I regretted not having been partnered with you and felt a teeny twinge of jealousy. Gowns were made for the women, tuxes were fitted by the men(you looked really dashing in a tux) and finishing touches were added to the venue. At the debut, I asked you to dance with me but although you promised you would, you refused me saying you were a horrible dancer and that it would be embarrassing with all the people around to see. No matter how I pulled you, you wouldn't budge from your seat. I sighed. If you wouldn't dance with me, then I would have to be satisfied with an imaginary partner, I thought. It was at that moment the band started to play Madonna's 'crazy for you' song. How ironic, I thought, as I went to the middle of the dance floor and put my hands out in the air, around my absentee boyfriend's neck. My close circle of friends had a great laugh as I did this, especially since I was the only one on the dance floor. They prodded you insistently to save me from making an utter fool of myself in public. In reluctance, you came after me. A small smile played on my lips as you slipped into my arms so naturally and we slow danced. You're crazy, you whispered, and told me you loved me. I know, I replied, melting in your arms. Touch me once and you'll know it's true. I've never wanted anyone like this. It's all brand new. You'll feel it in my kiss. I'm crazy for you. We held each other close and danced until the end of the song, oblivious to the rest of the world. It was our perfect, romantic, memorable first dance. It couldn't be more perfect. And it wouldn't be the last.