145. You've told me in the past that one of the qualities that has attracted you to me was my vulnerability. What does that even mean? I've asked myself time and time again. At the start, did I make the impression that I was so weak that I needed constant protection? No, not weak, you said. Innocent. Thus, vulnerable. I considered this because I was indeed far too innocent and cloistered in the beginning. I didn't believe this trait to be attractive yet I magnetized your attention as Guinevere did Lancelot with it. What I realized that, I immediately recognized that you had that chivalric streak. And you had it deeply engraved on your emotional armor as you rode about on your horse called 'confidence'. You needed someone to protect and admire. By chance, your eyes had found mine that faithful day and have been watching me ever since. I admit that having you, dear Lance, by my side is very reassuring because with every step I took into the unknown I was aware that I needed just a little courage to push me in the right direction. Even if it meant going in the very direction you wanted me too, being very gentle and gracious about it though secretly manipulative. I frankly didn't know what hit me. I fell for you and soon, when I wasn't so vulnerable or innocent anymore, I saw a change in you. It was a good change though. Your clasped hand opened and you let me go my own way. I found my voice and then I returned to your side, no longer being lead by the hand, but walking with you side by side. You weren't as strong as you thought and I wasn't so weak. Our relationship became a true give and take relationship with both parties, trusting, accepting and depending on each other. And we won each other's love and respect.
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