Desires and Conflicts

64. You know me as an impulsive girl when it comes to matters of the heart. I get so confused and do things that I will most likely regret later on. I really have no willpower when it comes to you. And perhaps if it wasn’t for your iron self control and my shouting conscience then perhaps my virtue would have been long gone. It really amazes me, in fact, how through the years that my desire of you has never waned. They say that great relationships do have conflicts every now and then but the fact of the matter is that they know how to work through it and not just avoid it. I am the kind that abhors conflicts but prizes that moment wherein everything is resolved and both parties have come to a compromise. Is it just my mindset as a Libran? I think not. And I think that’s why up until now, now that I’ve gotten to know you more, I still desire you. According to you, couples should not delay in solving their problems and should never just sleep on a problem. And I agree with you, which is why every time I clam up you always prod me to open up so that we could resolve our issues. I’ve always wondered though if your maturity has come, like a diamond in the rough, from your many failed relationships with women? And has my impulsiveness stem from my inexperience with men? I may not have had relationships with men save for you but I’ve had many admirers even up to now. That is why I always refer to you on what to do about them or how to respond when I detect a certain oddness, a feeling that they want more than friendship from me. Because if I don’t be open to you and risk your jealousy and wise counsel, trouble usually comes and threatens all we’ve built. And I don’t want that. No, I definitely don’t want that. Conflicts do make you older than you usually are. And I know we both are happy people. I’ve noticed as the years come and go, our conflicts become less and less. And our relationship becomes like a steady river and it’s so much easier to communicate with you. Sometimes I feel freer than I've ever been, like I've been released from a cage, without bondage. And I’m so thankful for that. I really am.