Face to Face

53. I've noticed that I've been writing so many 'kilig' sweet moments of ours that I can't help but dedicate another section of our blog to another one of our special firsts. Our first lunch together. I especially remember this one because I acted more awkward toward you than usual. We usually ate with some of our classmates in our university's food court but for some reason I cannot remember how I ended up alone with you. Should I feel happy? Perhaps. Should I be cautious? All the more so. But my inner thinking somehow just shuts down the moment you turn your lovely eyes towards me. After we had bought our food, we looked for a place to sit. When we found an empty table, conveniently near a wall fan, I sat and you automatically sat in front of me. It just occurred to me back then how strange it was to have a boy eating so happily in front of me, talking with me animatedly as if we were close. I blushed and pushed my food around my plate. Coming from an all girls Catholic high school, I had never talked nor had lunch with a guy in front of me before. You asked me what's wrong and I whispered to you that I felt shy eating and sitting in front of you. Yes, I know I was acting weird to you but I simply could not stand having you stare at me from across the table. Do you know how damning it was for me to see you look at me so openly back then? You laughed at me since you thought I was just joking. Then I picked up my plate and came over to your side of the bench, asked you to scoot over to the left to give me space. At least this way, I told you, I won't have to see you stare at me and I won't behave so awkwardly. Sitting side by side seemed less threatening than a full face to face interaction with you, I thought. You laughed at me some more and poked at me with some more silly questions and comments. You had never seen a girl behave the way that I do, and it intrigued you somewhat. I had the impression that you thought I was so sheltered by my parents and school, which was quite accurate. The next day you sat in front of me and though I attempted to sit beside you again, you still proceeded to take the seat in front of me. Why were you doing this? You told me that there is nothing I should be shy or ashamed about around you and that sitting in front would allow us both to get to know one another better. I protested a little that we could still talk even if we were sitting side by side but you would hear none of it. As days passed, I started to get used to you and would even automatically sit opposite to you. Yes, there was still the awkwardness and the way my eyes would lower every time you'd openly stare at me for more than three seconds. But isn't this what is called flirting and making an impression? We were still far from passing the getting-to-know-you phase and easing in into the relatively short phase of friendship. Though these events transpired quickly for us, I just want you to know that I treasure every bit of them. Every gesture. Every word. Everything would eventually lead us to where we are now.