Say A Little Prayer

28. They say prayer works miracles. I have yet to see one, but I deeply hope to experience a miracle for myself someday. Prayer does indeed, however, make me feel warm. As if someone big and strong was giving me a great bear hug. Squeezing my heart for a little while, then flooding within my soul a sensation of peace. For me, prayer doesn't have to be long, it doesn't have to be so confined to specific times or rules, although they must be appropriately done. Prayer is simply having a conversation with God, who is Lord of all yet at the same time a very dear friend who's ever present. When I graduated highschool I promised myself, at every start of a great change, I would go to a church or chapel to pray. First day of school. First day of work. First day that I became really serious about you and me. I have never stopped thanking God for giving me this life, all the good and bad in it would have its purpose. I would pray for you, simply because I thought you needed it more than I did. God gave you all your challenges, earlier than mine, and I saw that life made you hard yet mature in your ways.  I would pray for me to be kind, patient and more loving and gentle towards mistakes. I prayed for our families that they might pass through all the difficulties they were facing. I would pray for us because up until now, there are always fears-- fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being alone, fear of making a mistake and that possibility that our relationship was a mistake. And I've learned that prayer makes you braver yet with a child-like trust that everything will work out in the end. So far, the prayer is still working and we're still together and strong. One thing I find challenging about prayer though, is neither the asking nor thanking part of it, it is the listening involved. Sometimes silence would be all there is. Sometimes I use my heart to decipher what God is telling me and swear that I would be hearing things. Sometimes signs or solutions would come later like bright sparks. The answers may not come right away, but they always do. That is an incredible thing. So amidst life's little ironies and cruelties, I continue to say this little prayer every now and then. A little lover's prayer as I would call it: God, please watch over the both of us. Keep us safe and close and together. Let me become someone good and continually deserving of his love and let him be the one for me. Let us love each other for the rest of our lives. Thank you for everything always and forever. Amen.